Doug Wagner
After a long war with multiple myeloma, and having won many battles, my brother Jack passed away on Friday, September 17th, 2021. He is in paradise now, enjoying heaven and the many rooms and wonders of God's house. Jack had a very angry reaction to his cancer diagnosis, a diagnosis that came over a year ago. I visited him several times in the last year but it wasn't until my last visit, last month, that Jack no longer acted angry toward me.
When I walked into his hospital room last month he was sleeping. I said his name and he woke up. He reached out and took my hand and pulled me close to him and tearfully apologized for his anger and how he had treated me over the past year. And I told him I forgave him, that I knew he had been angry over his diagnosis. I was so happy that he had reached this point, this realization.
Our week together was a full one. We planned for the future, how Jack, who had just had surgery, was going to get, literally, back on his feet and back home, through rehab. We also talked about our childhood together, family adventures, his car, bike and other projects, and how wonderful hospital nurses are. He called them angels. It was a wonderful visit.
After I returned home, Jack worked hard regaining his strength and mobility in a rehabilitation facility. But his cancer continued to spread and he had to go back to the hospital. I last spoke to him over the phone, just an hour before his death. I told him how much I loved him and that I would see him again, someday, on God's golden shore.
My sister, Debby, did a saintly job of caring for Jack these past months, and especially these last weeks, despite Jack's often very angry behavior. She was even making arrangements to bring him home for hospice care when his condition worsened at the end. She kept visiting Jack, bringing him things he needed, working with his doctors and nurses to maximize his care and continuing on, even when she had little sleep and even less energy. She earned the Family Medal of Honor, for her courageous and never ending care, under extremely adverse circumstances.
So that's my story of the last year of Jack's life, but I must add a just few sentences on his life before cancer. Jack was wonderful; a kind, a caring person. He loved his friends and family. He was the best dry wall/plasterer I have ever seen. He helped me with so many home improvements over the past 20 years, including rebuilding two horsehair plaster walls in our 106 year old home. In 2018 he spent a week here in Indianapolis, where I helped him re-side my friend's house. A friend who had lost their job and could not afford to pay anyone to do the desperately needed work. Helping others was what Jack did often and did best. I am proud to call him my brother.
