Thomas Francis O'Connor Sr.'s Obituary
On Tuesday, September 9th, surrounded by the love of his family, Thomas Francis O’Connor Sr., 93, closed his eyes on this Earth and opened them in Eternity.
Born August 6, 1932, in Holyoke Massachusetts, Thomas was the second of six children born to Catherine (nee O’Sullivan) and Maurice O’Connor both of whom hailed from County Kerry, Ireland. Raised in a devoutly Catholic household, his childhood was spent in Brooklyn, NY and later Jackson Heights in Queens. An exceptionally hard worker from the start, little Tommy first embraced his entrepreneurial spirit by purchasing shopping bags for a penny each and selling them for 2¢ to shoppers on the street corner. He used the proceeds of this venture to select and purchase his own First Communion suit.
At the age of 15 (and in a valiant effort to outrun the truant officer) Tom and his buddy Jack McCague hitchhiked out to California, spending 2 years working for a defense plant in Hollywood before returning home to New York. Though previously rejected for trying to enlist while underage, Tom was drafted into the Army and shipped out to serve in the Korean War. After his honorable discharge Tom worked as a longshoreman.
In 1956, life as he knew it was changed. Tom and his best friend Joey made plans to go on a double date—Tom was paired with a blonde, and Joey with a brunette. As they approached the ladies, Tom noticed the brunette's legs and immediately turned to Joey and said, ‘You take the blonde—I'm going to marry the other one.’ A year later, in June of 1957, Tom and Dorothy ‘Dotti’ Deduytsche were married. After a romantic honeymoon in a lakeside cabin in New Hampshire, they began a life of love and true partnership with the purchase of a small delicatessen in Jackson Heights. While working together and living in the 1-bedroom apartment at the back of the store, they welcomed their first three children, Thomas Jr. in 1958, Judith in 1962, and Mary-Rose in 1964. Having outgrown the apartment, Tom and Dotti moved their young family to a 2-story home where they were then blessed with Denise in 1965 and finally Maurice in 1967. As the neighborhood around them changed, so did the business, and Tom and Dotti set their sights toward a new adventure.
After much prayer and planning, Tom and Dotti sold the store and moved their family to Lee County, Florida in 1970. They purchased a wholesalership with Arnold Bread and for 13 years serviced Lee, Collier, and Charlotte Counties. A team in the truest sense of the word, Tom and Dotti met and overcame every challenge they faced, including the year he was unable to work while suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome which saw Dotti caring for him and their children while running the business on her own. The early years in Florida also saw the forging of lifelong friendships.
Tom sold the wholesalership back to Arnold Bread and ‘retired’ in 1983. He and Dotti travelled extensively in their motor home, typically with their beloved granddaughter Jenn O’Connor (Ortiz) in tow. Never one to be idle for long, Tom educated himself about the stock market and devoted much of his time to volunteer work- providing respite assistance to the homebound of his parish and working as a camp counselor with the MDA summer camp for many years. Devout, lifelong Catholics Tom and Dotti were actively involved in their home parish of St. Andrew in Cape Coral for more than 55 years. As more grandchildren came along, Tom was always willing to look after them. Thus became the start of what was affectionately dubbed ‘Poppy School,’ teaching life lessons and how to put God first all while making memories that cemented his place as a cornerstone of each grandchild’s life. An avid walker, Tom could often be spotted walking on Del Prado or Everest Parkway, often pushing a grandchild in a stroller. He attended daily mass as often as possible and modelled his faith in every aspect of his life. In later years, he and other elderly daily mass gentlemen joined in fellowship in their daily post mass coffee social which later was named the “Coffee Guys”.
Faith, love, and devotion were the defining factors of Tom’s life. His devotion to his wife and family was clear to all who encountered him. He had a personality that was larger than life with a quiet sort of wisdom and was a constant presence of steadfast faith. He had a way of making each child, grandchild, and great-grandchild feel like the most precious person in his world. Inside his wedding band was engraved The two of us and Him. It was a vow he took to heart and the foundation on which his family was built. As Dotti said, ”We were very much blessed with each other.” The Lord truly blessed Tom and in turn, all who met him were blessed by knowing him.
Preceding him in Eternal Reward are his parents, Maurice and Catherine (nee O’Sullivan) O’Connor, siblings, Patrick O’Connor, Maurice O’Connor, and Eileen O’Connor, his beloved daughter, Judith O’Connor King, and grandchildren, Angel Linden and Kelly O’Connor. He is survived by his wife of 68 years, Dotti, children Thomas O’Connor Jr., Mary-Rose (John) Linden, Denise O’Connnor, and Maurice (Kara) O’Connor, siblings Kathleen O’Connor Beackom and Mary O’Connor Laub, grandchildren Jennifer (Reuben) O’Connor Ortiz, Michael King, Melissa King, Matthew King, Mark King, John (Jenny) Linden, Shawn (Keri) Linden, Ryan (Felicia) Linden, Nicole (Logan) Halprin, Connor (Sara) Linden, Brigette (Tyler) Reeve, Kevin O’Connor, Heather O’Connor, and Brian O’Connor, as well as great-grandchildren Michael, John, Shawn, Connor, Grant, Elaine, Ryan, Linden, Sutton, and Baby Halprin arriving April 2026, numerous nieces and nephews, and countless friends he considered family.
Please join the family as they celebrate Tom’s life with a Memorial Mass at St. Katherine Drexel in Cape Coral on Wednesday, September 24th at 11:00 a.m. A Committal will be immediately following at Ft. Myers Memorial Gardens in the Field of Honor with reception details to follow.
The family respectfully request that no flowers be sent, though gifts made in Tom’s memory to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital would be much appreciated
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